Eurovision Song Contest is back in Sweden again. We can’t seem to win that thing enough, can we? Anyway, I was just thinking…
Now that we have it (again) wouldn’t it be great if we used it to, you know, tell some of the countries in it that they’re assholes?
I mean both Russia, Turkey and Israel are in that thing after all. The least we could do is hint at the problems in countries like Belarus,
like that German comic (a comic. Shouldn’t come as a suprise. That’s pretty much your only chance at having somebody tell you the truth these days.)
last year or maybe mention the fact that it’s just a tad unsettling that Hungary and Greece now have proper nazis in their parliaments? Anyway… Sweden, as progressive as it may seem and as much a role model it wants to portray itself probably
isn’t gonna carpe that diem. At all. Not even during the “funny” segments of that awful, awful show. I hope I’m wrong, but below is a sketch I was sent a couple of weeks ago.
I don’t know what I resent the most. The fact that it’s plain, boring, hack to the level that a 5-year old could have written it or the fact that they wanted ME to be in it? Maybe i resent the fact that it would pay less
than a real hooker would charge for his or her much more honest work or is it the fact that they sent it to me with a paragraph sayin’ I couldn’t tell
anybody about it? (This e-mail contains CONFIDENTIAL AND PROPRIETARY INFORMATION intended solely for the recipient and, therefore, may not be retransmitted to any party outside of the recipient’s organization without the prior written consent of the sender. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately by telephone or reply e-mail and destroy the original message without making a copy.) I mean, is that even legal? To send somebody some random shit and then have him or her legally obliged not to tell a single soul about the shit you sent them? Sounds strange to me. But if it works I’m sure gonna start using it. Anyway, confidential and proprietary or not; here’s the sketch. That I supposedly could have been in. In front of about 100 million people. Hope it never airs. It sucks. (I was gonna be “Typical Swede”)
Oh, by the way; Don’t get me wrong. I’d be happy to do stuff in front of 100 million people. I’d even do it for free. But I’d like it to at least have a slim chance to matter. Fuckers.

EDIT:
The production company very politely asked me to please take their confidential script down.
They felt that it would make a difference. And as my ambition wasn’t to sabotage anything or
start some sort of vendetta (believe it or not) I’m gonna do just that. It’s been up here all
day and everybody who was interested enough already read it. I suppose. If you didn’t get a
chance to read it and you have a problem with that, well fuck you too. Be faster next time.
My point is made and it doesn’t get more made by keeping it up here now. I felt I DID have to
post it to begin with though, as just sayin’ ”They´re gonna air a crappy sketch” just wouldn’t do
The trick. Anyway, I removed it now because to me it’s really no biggie. As I said, my point
is made. I don’t regret posting it. I only regret I didn’t do it sooner to give them an honest
chance to change it. I didn’t.
When I first promised them to take it down, about 5 hours ago, my plan was to write a new
sketch and post it here so they could use that instead but I’m just too exhausted after a
long day and tomorrow I’m gonna visit a friend in the hospital so I’m really not in the mood
for this shit. I’m gonna eat and watch a movie.

Oh, and by the way: If you ever get a chance
to see Setlist Show and/or Eddie Pepitone, DO! Both are amazing. Good night.